Morning drizzle = Inspiration
Inspiration + Mundane objects in hand (and on feet) = Eccentric Creativity
Eccentric Creativity + Camera = Abstract beauty
Abstract beauty + Urge to show off = Blog post
When she talks of the self-doubt a creative person is almost always filled with, it strikes a chord.
When she talks of the ancient Roman way of thinking of “genius” as a magical divine entity who invisibly helps the artist and shapes the out come of the work – a brilliant psychological construct to protect an artist from both the plaguing self-doubt that comes with not-so-good results and the dangerous narcissism that comes with very-good results – it strikes a chord.
When she talks of the poem coming thud thud thud to the poet and her missing it if she doesn’t reach a paper & pen in time to catch the poem & transcribe it, it strikes a chord.
And when she finally concludes that it is best for a creative person to dissociate himself/herself from the results and just concentrate on giving his/her 100% to the creative process, it strikes a chord.
Now, me saying that would be laughed/frowned upon, given that I am this “geek” or “nerd” (or both) who calls herself a “researcher”, a “computer scientist” and spends insane number of hours in front of a computer in a depressing lab. “Where is creativity or art in that?” you ask?
Donald Knuth says “Computer programming is an art form, like the creation of poetry or music.”. By extension, CS research – with the necessity and opportunity to be able to “shift levels of abstraction, from low level to high level. To see something in the small and to see something in the large” (again in Knuth’s words) – is a higher art form. And when Knuth, one of the Gods of CS, says such things implying that CS is one of the greatest creative art forms, who the hell are you to refute, huh?
So that’s settled – I am involved in creative stuff, and hence all that Liz said in the talk applies to me. Matter settled.
But do ideas really “come” to me? Well, I’d like to think so. . How else can I explain the idea/solution occurring to me first and the “basis for that idea/solution” becoming clear to me only after a couple of weeks of analysis? As Leslie Lamport puts it, “When I look back on my work, most of it seems like dumb luck – I happened to be looking at the right problem, at the right time, having the right background.”
Am I filled with self-doubt? Well, only sometimes, luckily. At times when the “looking at the right problem, at right time, having the right background” combination acts all elusive. At times when faced with the skeptical “You are working on that? Just how practical or real-life affecting a problem is that?”. At times when thrown that sarcastic “Oh, so you are working for the benefit of the generation to come two decades hence. Good”.
But that said, the beauty of the whole thing is in those “Eureka moments” – when you have given your 100% to groping (almost) blindly in the dark for the right problem or its solution and happen to see nice results.
So, as per Liz’s suggestion, I am thinking of having this notion of a “genius” fairy that “gives” me ideas.. A magical creature whose thought would keep me grounded when I do see good results from my efforts. . A divine creature who would take the blame when “my” ideas fail, at whom I can shout at for not “passing along” good ideas.
Sounds fun. I just need a name for my “genius” fairy. Any suggestions? 😉