Cooking for Survival #1 : Egg-Olive-Mayo Sandwich
Situation : You are a grad student who is being told that Eating is essential for survival by anyone & everyone who cares! 😛
Problem : Hostel’s mess food is true to it’s name – messy (exceptionally so) – & messes with your stomach. And you are too bored/lazy to eat every meal at restaurants around.
Solution : Exploit the (minimal) resources available to the fullest – namely, the department’s pantry.
Step-by-step solution :
- Fall asleep in lab while breaking head against Majority logic & wire crossings. Wake up at 9am & realize that you have some TA work scheduled in an hour => No time to silence that growling tummy with food.
- Finish TA work & go to hostel. Put 2 eggs on mom’s best friend – aka Citizen Steam cooker. Go bathe.
- Dress up. Peel eggs, put in box, put box in handbag, walk to lab. Enter the department’s pantry room.
- Pop in 4 slices of bread into the toaster.
- Chop the eggs into a bowl.
ChopBreak crudely by hand a few black olives into the same bowl.
- Throw in 3 tablespoons of Mayonnaise.
- Throw in arbitrary quantity of salt, pepper, chilli flakes, oregano.
- Kick yourself for forgetting to buy Mustard sauce.
- Lick the mixture.
- Wonder what sort of magic resulted in the salt & spices being just perfect.
- Retrieve toasted bread slices. Thank toaster for being nice to you & not burning the toast.
- Pile mixture onto bread slices. Say soothingly to the bread slices complaining of being overloaded – “Don’t worry. Just a few more minutes. You’d be relieved of all the worldly pain & go to heaven – my tummy”. Use tissue to wipe their tears if needed.
- Since you feel all too proud of your culinary skills, click photos of the sandwiches in the most flattering angle that you can find. (Read, zoom in enough to leave out the mayo-mixture that has spilled out all around.)
- Open news websites & eat. Apologize to darling laptop for drowning it in mayo coated debris.
- Put up this silly post on blog, picture et.al, basically to boast, but also as evidence for 2 facts – a) You actually eat. You do. b) Your mom’s belief that her daughter can’t cook to survive is grossly incorrect .